For the last few years, I never felt sympathy for witches that were single on Valentine’s Day. Even when I was single, I had school and work to occupy my thoughts and my time. Now, however, it’s a different story. Diego’s married to another witch, I don’t have a job, Parvati works a lot, Mum’s angry with me… there just isn’t much going on in my life.

( Valentine )

I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s late, I should be in bed, or reading, or doing anything other than what I’m doing. Why am I sitting on the floor in the middle of Diego’s bedroom in the dark? And better yet, why am I crying? I hate being emotional; I’m never emotional. I live my life based on facts and information, not emotions… yet here I am, crying like a hormonal teenager.

I’ve felt off since I received Diego's letter. He’s staying in Spain indefinitely. I don’t realize how lonely it can get here until he’s gone. He’s my life. I’m friends with my co-workers, but I don’t have the same kind of bond with them that I have with Diego. The bond that I have with Diego is like nothing I have ever felt before. I never knew that love could be so overwhelming, especially for someone like me. I don’t daydream often, but when I do it’s always about my future with Diego.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but in the back of my mind I think that he’s staying in Spain to tell he’s parents he’s going to propose to me. We’re as good as engaged now, but I’m anxious for him to make it official. Maybe he’s trying to get a job with his father’s company so we can leave Egypt and earn bigger salaries. But every time I begin to think this way I question why I’ve never met his parents. It would be very easy for me to go home with him on one of his business trips. I never use my time off.

All of these thoughts were stirring in my mind when I walked over to Diego’s villa to tidy up. I don’t mind cleaning for him. He works hard; he deserves to come back to a clean home. But something about being around all of his things got to me. I didn’t think it was possible to miss him more than I already did. I’ve been distracted lately as it is. I’ve misplaced my notes. I never misplace my notes. Either Melinda’s scatterbrains are contagious, or missing Diego is really getting to me.

I hate this. I hate feeling so emotional. I haven’t felt such a lack of control over my emotions since Mandy was murdered. I’m stronger than this. Thinking about Mandy was what brought on my tears. There was a calendar on Diego’s desk in his bedroom. Yesterday was the anniversary of her death. I’ve never even been to her grave. She was my closest friend, after Parvati of course. No matter how much you may grow apart, you’ll never find a friend that’s closer than a twin.

Diego is my closest friend now. He’s everything to me. I’ll be fine when he comes back. I just need to see him. For tonight, I’ll go home and work on translating the documents I brought home with me. I just have to push all of these emotions back and focus on the facts. Emotions bring irrational actions. Emotions bring distractions. Emotions make you weak. I just need a few moments to gather my thoughts and calm down. I’ll be fine, I just need to see Diego.