“Dean,” I call to his closed bedroom door, “we’re going to be late.”

“We’ve still got time,” he calls back. ( Read more... )

Once again, I’m consumed with feelings of guilt. Last night I didn’t go out to fight against Lucius Malfoy’s forces attacking Hogsmeade. I was asleep as soon as I had eaten dinner since I’ve been working so hard lately, but I know that even if I’d been awake I wouldn’t have gone to battle. After Peru, my entire body just breaks out in shakes at the mere thought of being part of another battle. I know that one day I will find myself in the middle of a battlefield again, but I’m just not ready yet. Thinking about fighting makes me think about Ernie and my selfish thoughts before he died; thinking about fighting makes me think about almost dying myself. ( Read more... )

I think I’m losing my mind. I went to visit Dean last night, but after seeing how awful he looked I couldn’t manage to face him. Does he know that I’m the one responsible for his kidnapping? If he does, he must me angry with me. I’m so disappointed in myself; I can’t imagine what he thinks.( Read more... )

“Alohamora,” I whisper, my wand shaking as I point it at Dean’s door. I was angry when he first stood me up, but after talking to Parvati and Neville I became concerned. What finally moved me to action, however, was finding the note crammed under my door from Dean that said he’d see me at seven on Friday.( Read more... )

I’m lying in bed but I can’t sleep. I’ve got too much on my mind.

I’ve taken a lot of time to myself this week. Even though I wasn’t really upset about my break up with Anthony, it took a lot out of me. I had a lot of unresolved feelings for Anthony to sort through, but I think I finally settled them all in the friend category. If only I could say the same for my feelings for Dean.( Read more... )

Sighing, I rest my head in my hands and close my eyes. Everything I’ve been working all day seems to be running together in my memory. I came in to work early this morning to continue looking through deciphering charms. I’m going with Dean this evening to Ernie’s family home to try and break into the notebook again. Then, on my lunch hour I looked over Jessie’s family tree again. I took note of some of the prominent family members, and made notes to myself to look into what is known of Ollivander’s disappearance. All I know currently is that he was assumed dead years ago.( Read more... )

Anthony and I lay together on his couch after the wonderful dinner we had at Bewitched. I’ll have to ask Ginny to tell her mother how much I enjoyed the food. Even though the ball of guilt is still residing in my stomach, it feels good to simply relax with Anthony. He strokes a hand through my hair absently and I close my eyes.( Read more... )

Choosing a table at the back of The Leaky Cauldron, I take a seat and wait for Ernie to arrive for our lunch date. I had intended to meet with him sooner, but I got so caught up in my work that the time crept up on me. Again, I’m thankful to have Melinda so willing to help me. The only strange thing has been her disinterest in Anubis’s tablet. I’m afraid that she remembers more about the ordeal she went through and isn’t letting on. I don’t know what terrible things she encountered, and I can’t bring myself to ask. At least, that’s what I want to believe. I’m even more afraid that this Melinda is somehow an imposter, though I can’t imagine how.
( Lunch )

Silence. There hasn’t been anything but silence since Anthony and I left Dean’s party. I don’t know how to fix my mistakes. I don’t want to start out with Anthony on the wrong note. I was just having a good time. Dean is my friend and it is his birthday. Anthony never asked me to dance. Anthony didn’t even attempt to have fun.
( Read more... )

Since my trip to St. Mungo’s yesterday, I’ve really come to think of this flat as home. It felt strange to sign a new lease; not that I am trapped here, just that I’m beginning a new chapter of my life. I suppose now that I have a completely clean bill of health I should find a job. I don’t want Mum treating me the way she used to treat Parvati. It’s bad enough that she thinks poorly of me for the whole Diego situation. Besides, I don’t have much in the way of savings, and Parvati and I can’t survive on her salary alone.

( Going out )