Once again, I’m consumed with feelings of guilt. Last night I didn’t go out to fight against Lucius Malfoy’s forces attacking Hogsmeade. I was asleep as soon as I had eaten dinner since I’ve been working so hard lately, but I know that even if I’d been awake I wouldn’t have gone to battle. After Peru, my entire body just breaks out in shakes at the mere thought of being part of another battle. I know that one day I will find myself in the middle of a battlefield again, but I’m just not ready yet. Thinking about fighting makes me think about Ernie and my selfish thoughts before he died; thinking about fighting makes me think about almost dying myself. ( Read more... )